Hey, so at this point things are continuing to go down hill and I really need some help.
“Ok, so, I’ve tried this in the past and it didn’t work but I am trying again because I’m desperate at this point.
I’m 20 years old, trans, autistic, have depression and anxiety. I can’t hold down a job. I have tried and every time I get to the point where I want to literally commit suicide. I don’t handle stress very well and I get overstimulated and I meltdown. I hate leaving my house and it makes me really nervous usually. Oh, and I’ve fucked up my sciatic nerve and my back hurts really, really badly a lot of the time.
I don’t live in a good situation. I live with a very abusive family member who is an alcoholic and screams a lot. Yells at me if I eat ‘her’ food, complains about having to take care of me and is constantly saying I need a job. Always going on about how I ‘sit on my ass all day and do nothing’ and always is talking about how this is ‘her house so what she says goes.’ She flips out over the smallest of things and then takes it out on me. Also complains about having to buy me food and always turns everything back on me. Mildly transphobic as she goes back to my deadname when I am being ‘punished’ as well.
My other family aren’t options for living with as my dad is a prison guard obsessed with location tracking me and his parents agree. Trump supporters, transphobic, emotionally abusive.
The thing is, I don’t have money. I have meds I NEED to take, hormones, endocrinologist visits, doctors visits, food money would be good… I also have a $5,000 student debt and a few other bills that are stopping me from going back to school to get out of this situation, to get out of a country thats getting scary for people like me, and to better my life in general.
I NEED to see my therapist, at the minimum. I have been so depressed that I haven’t been leaving bed for, like, the past month. That’s $140. I need money to pay the other half of my endocrinologist bill and that’s like $100. Pills for a month for me (depending on what antidepressant and anxiety pills I’m put on) can range from $30 – $100. I also have a $40 dollar phone bill and I NEED that to stay in contact with the person keeping me from actually killing myself as the person I am living with threatens to turn off the wifi at any point. There’s also the little things like shampoo and other things like that. Of course, if she finds out I have money she would try to take it for ‘rent’ but if I can contribute and buy my own things she wouldn’t be able to yell at me for it.
Anything would help at this point. I could do commissions for you if you were interested. Just message me at life-with-masks.tumblr.com and I can do that! I’m kind of on borrowed time right now because someone is paying what they can for me which is my phone bill but there’s all this other stuff and I need help.
If you can’t donate, I am BEGGING you to share this around, please.“
I’m scared she or a family member will see this so I’ve used a fake city and no picture but I know if she found out she would deny all this and gaslight me further in to the “YOU’RE SO UNGRATEFUL FOR WHAT I DO TO YOU!!!” shit and I can’t take much more. Everyone says it’s abuse and I guess it is and I really need a miracle.
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